As a child, I never understood my grandparents talking about the years flying by. To me they seemed to take forever. Christmas and birthdays were the slowest times of all. Today, I speak the same words my grandparents uttered - "the years are flying by and birthdays come all too frequently!" It seems prudent to do some self-evaluation around a birthday. With this rapid passing of time, it appears that need to slow down for a moment and ask myself a very personal and critical question - "Am I getting any wiser with the passing of these years or am I just getting older?"
The truth is that I really don't feel comfortable answering that question in something as public as a blog. But the reality is that people around me are answering that very question about me with each passing year. They don't give me the answer in so many words but they certainly make the assessment based on the conversations we have, the decisions I make, and the observations they have regarding my behavior. With that in mind, I might as well confess my own thoughts about myself.
There is no doubt that some of what happens in my life as I grow older is just that - growing older. My hair is retreating from my head and making its way into my ears and nostrils. When I get up in the mornings, I sound like a cereal - as I move, I hear "snap, crackle, and pop." My favorite stories are really my favorite stories. I like them so much that I tell them over and over to the same people. I forget people's names - rarely do I forget my own but I think that is only a few birthdays away. I do have one of those plastic containers for sorting my morning and evening medications for a week. While I have two great doctors, visits to their offices have not become the highlight of my social schedule - yet! My other holdout on the aging process is that I refuse to eat oatmeal or prunes. Blue Bell and Mexican restaurants have much more to offer.
On the other side of this question - am I getting any wiser - I struggle a little more to be honest and accurate in my evaluation. I still do some impulsive spending, but I am watching carefully my retirement account. I am more concious about what is best for my body, but - well you already read the Blue Bell and Mexican food comments in the paragraph above.
Accomplishments are important, but I believe today that relationships are more important. My wife, our children, their spouses, our grandchildren, our parents, and our friends (old and new) hold greater importance to me than what I will accomplish today.
While I became a Christ follower at the age of 10, there is no doubt that my faith is stronger today than it has ever been. No, it is not just because I am closer to death than when I was born (the truth is that we all are) but rather because I see the real differences that Jesus makes in how we determine values, how we can love others, and how we can truly serve.
Like most of us, I have some things in my past that I wish I could go back and do over - not because they were so much fun, but because I would do them right this time - or at least I think I would. I don't know if that is a sign of wisdom or just regret.
This I do know regardless of whether you think I am just older or maybe a little wiser - I am blessed with the life that has been given to me. My wife is the best. I married way over my head. My children make me proud everyday. My grandchildren bring joy with their energy and their curiosity and sensitivity. My job holds my interest and challenges my knowledge and abilities daily. My God is great beyond my simple words to describe. I love and I am loved. Maybe, just maybe, I am both older and wiser.
