Avoiding Collisions

I have just finished writing an article that will appear in our associational newsletter regarding preventing collisions in church. Today, I want to rewrite that article changing the focus from churches to individuals and their colliding relationships. The first two paragraphs are total plagarism (can you plagarize yourself?). The remainder is almost new!

"A small rock designated 2009 DD45 and measuring 60-150 feet in length missed the earth early on the morning of March 2, 2009, by a scant 40,000-46,000 miles. While 40,000 miles would be a very long trip by car or even airplance, it is less than 1/5 the distance between the earth and the moon. But remember it was a small rock! Of course, a small rock of approximately the same size struck the area around the Tunguska River in central Siberia, Russia, in 1908. It destroyed millions of trees in the Taiga Forest, totally flattening 830 square miles (oh, incidentally, Denton County, where I live, is approximately 990 square miles in size)! Personally, I am glad this small rock missed.

Everyday, things do collide with other things resulting in various kinds of destructions. Collisions happen in relationships, in churches, in nations, and in cultures. The aftermath is often reminiscent of Humpty Dumpty whose pieces could not be put back together even by all the king's horses and all the king's men. Maybe Humpty's situation, like some of ours, would have been better had someone intervened and kept Humpty from falling and colliding with the hard ground."

So what are some essentials in keeping our relationships from colliding and becoming irrevocably broken into pieces? My suggestions are just that - suggestions. But they are some that I believe are good preventative choices.

• Listen more and speak less. It is so tempting to get in the first blow by stating your own case without ever hearing what another person is trying to say. When my son was around 4, he told me he wanted a motorcycle. Having seen people killed or severely injured in motorcycle accidents, I began a strong "Dad" speech about how they were dangerous and as long as he lived in my house he would never have a motorcycle. As the tears flowed from his disappointment, he managed to say, "But Daddy, it is red and little and only costs a dollar at the toy store. Make a special effort to understand what others are saying. Most of our major conflicts and collisions are results of misunderstandings or are over matters of little consequence.


• Maintain relistic expectations of your spouse, your children, your parents, and your friends (and anyone else you work with, go to school with, are related to, etc.). The painful truth is that none of us are perfect. We all have some strengths and some weaknesses.


• Change is coming. We age; we mature (most of the time); alter our thinking on various topics; learn as we go (trial and error is a favorite in the real world); and forget a lot of things (this is of course a blessing and a curse). Change is happening to everyone and not just to us. Remembering that can sure make collisions less painful.


• The Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. One small boy was asked why he had hit his sister - because she hit me first. I was just following the Golden Rule. She hit me so I knew she wanted to be hit. Yeah, well, too often as adults we still are living by that mistaken interpretation.

Certainly there are many other ways to avoid collisions in our relationships. But for this next week, why not try these and see if some of our collisions might be prevented. My thought is that I may not can do anything about rocks, small or large, that go flying by our planet, but I can do something about preventing collisions in my relationships.

The Shallow End or the Deep End?

As a young child, the question was simple to answer. I wanted to be in the shallow end of the pool because I didn't know how to swim. Somewhere around the age of 8, I caught on to swimming, floating, treading water, and assorted other water related activities. Again the question was simple to answer because it was more fun and more challenging in the deep end of the pool.

Most of us are not trying to decide about whether to go swimming today (in Texas the air temp is to be about 80 but the water temp is still too cool for most of us). But I do wonder today if we are thinking in the shallow end or in the deep end. I wonder if we are reading in the shallows or in the depths. I wonder if we are living on the surface or plunging into the regions of hard work and diffult choices.

Does your mind drift to the dwindling 401 (k) that you were counting on for early retirement so you could pursue your favorite hobby or spend extra time with the grandchildren? Or instead is there a focus upon those who will spend today, this week, and their final days in the process and pain of starvation?

Is my biggest thought today about a receeding hairline or about the global millions who are infected with AIDS? Am I already thinking about where I will eat lunch (currently 10:05 AM) or is there some thought about where my friends and neighbors and the people in the office next door will spend eternity? Were the comics my most thought-provoking read of the day or was there something I read that will stimulate my actions in some aspect of making the world a better place?

It is pretty easy for me to confess that some days the shallow end of the thought pool puts this underworked brain in a very comfortable and relaxed position. But occasionally (tho' not often enough) I was to go to the deep end, think and read about that which is most important, and in someway make a dffierence in this world. My best thought today - I want to go to the deep end far more frequently until it becomes the norm of my life. So, what are you thinking about today?